Motivational speaker and acclaimed writer, David Brooks, in his book The Second Mountain, articulated four “commitments” that make a person’s life meaningful and fulfilling. The four foundations have to do with home life, work life, social life, and philosophy of life. In discussing them with various people and groups I know they ring true; though it seems that their value is known partly because of our capacity to commit (which anchors us), while their virtue is realized also partly because they spark intangible graces (which elevate us).
One commitment or anchor is our vocation. But it is important not to confuse this with our job or career, though some careers can certainly be vocations. The Latin word “vocare” means to call. I believe that all people are given a call—divine or mysterious—to better understand who we are and to engage with the world in a way that unveils that understanding; often the call is from God, though it can also come from our heritage, culture, or hidden dreams. More important than the call, whether divine or otherwise, is our response to it. For Brooks, vocation is about pursuing a living and a lifestyle through work or service that aligns with our deepest passion and allows us to track down our mission in life, even if we don’t fully comprehend it. It exists where our greatest yearnings intersect with society’s greatest needs; it relates to our desire to make the world better and many people find it in volunteer experiences more than they ever do or did in their career.
Another anchor is our home base. Brooks emphasizes the commitment of marriage and importance of family life, but I would broaden this principle to include unmarried and widowed people who value their abode as a place of rest, space of renewal, and means of refreshment in the daily cycle. In blessing homes, we honor the tremendous gift we are afforded through our domicile: a table to dine, a chair to relax, a bed to rest, a bath to refresh, a spot to pray, and, for many, a spouse to share it all with and a family to remind us of core relationships. Whether we live with others or not, the place we live, our neighbors, and our surroundings motivate us to greater purpose and a more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, those unhappy in their marriage and celibate people who’re unhappy with their marital status, or people living in chaotic housing or amidst bad neighbors, cannot experience the value of this comfort.
A third pillar that provides meaning and stability is our special groups of friends. This refers to the small circle of close companions, as well as various groups to which we belong. They can be sorority sisters or fraternity buddies, a book club, neighborhood pack, sports team, volunteer troupe, prayer group, card partners, garage band, discussion gang, coffee klatch, or other collection of people who count on one another and encourage each other. We often encounter adult siblings or alumni lunch groups that meet regularly at restaurants and commit to something beyond themselves. Some gangs simply reminisce about glory days or tales of childhood while others hold members to healthy, holy, or wholesome lifestyles. Brooks suggests that having groups like this will contribute not just to happiness but to deeper purpose and greater fulfillment.
The fourth commitment that he presents is a faith or philosophy that keeps us oriented in our earthly mission toward a higher objective, even if we don’t understand completely what it means. Some of us believe in a God that we know and yet is, at the same time, beyond our knowledge. Some find this foundation in their religion, moral code, or ethical system. Others write out and live by a personal mission statement that shapes their attitude and actions. Each of us possesses an interior moral compass that directs us toward our ultimate goal, whether in this life or a life to come, and anchors us in our darkest times, heaviest moments, or loneliest situations. It is that philosophy, faith, spirituality, or standard—it is known differently to different people—that shapes our mindset, behaviors, habits, and patterns in life. This final entity gets woven into the others.
I think it’s true that people who are anchored in these four areas of relationship and who make commitments to them do have meaningful lives that tend to be more fulfilling than those who don’t. They point to our sense of worth (through labor, outreach, and use of talents), our belonging (family and groups), our stability and security (hearth and home), and our connection to something greater than ourselves (faith and mission). There are numerous opportunities to improve these areas of our existence at nearly every stage of adulthood; churches are proud participants that offer bible study, book clubs, discussion groups, and volunteer options. If you spend time developing just one of these aspects of living, like spending time doing a thing that calls you or joining a group that motivates you, I think you’ll find that others will likewise grow stronger.
